Monday, August 30, 2010

The Heavens Opened

The heavens opened today.  Our Father in Heaven poured rain from his throne, rain that rushed past our windows, raging against the glass, while lighting flashed white across our vision, and the thunder of the Lord shook our souls.

The news from M.D. Anderson is good.  The chemotherapy continues to reduce the tumors.

But... dear, dear friends, it is so, very slow, and the little the doctor has told us does not give us hope.  It seems that this treatment, though it stalls the tumors in Mom's body and cuts slowly away at them, cannot utterly destroy them.

I felt it, when Dad called on Thursday, when they were on their way home.  I felt the loss of hope, the stab of uncertainty, and now, with the days moving slowly on, we all feel it, and we are all seeking the Lord for wisdom.

Word of an alternative treatment has reached our ears, an alternative treatment that has a higher percentage of success in curing patients.  We have doubts about it, but we have the same doubts about the chemo, and the positive results of the alternative treatment are making us seriously consider it.  The only problem, is that this treatment cannot be covered by Medicaid, leaving us to find the funds ourselves.  It is much less money than what Medicaid is forking out for the chemo right now, but it is enough that we are cautious about spending it.

So... here is our request, that you would pray for direction, that you would ask the Lord to show us the way and lead our feet along the path He has laid for us.

And He is God.  He showed us, today in the storm, as he poured forth His glory and His love in a torrent of rain and spoke of His power with the roll of His thunder.  I told Him I trusted Him, and I asked Him..

"Now that I trust you, what am I to do?"

"Praise me", He said.

He is God, and we will praise Him.

and all of us at Rambellwood

P.S.  I have added a music player at the bottom of this blog, to share songs that the Lord is touching us with.  You are welcome to listen. 

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Dear Friends,

It has been quite a while since I have posted here!  Knowing there are so many special people, across this country, praying for us, and thinking of us, waiting for news, I have resolved to update this blog on a more regulated basis.

Life is beginning to find its rhythm again, 

to carry us forward with a steady pace

moving with the gentle beat of the passing days.  

The Lord is holding us, 
and pressing his truth into our hearts, 
especially for Mom.  
She wanted to share, with all of you
what the Lord shared with her.

When I first found out I had this situation, (honestly, I don't like to say the name of "C") peace pervaded my soul and my spirit.  But, as time wore on, I felt despair begin to crack my peace.  I kept trying to get my peace back.  Then I started to have fear because I was afraid the despair would overtake me.  It felt like it was getting stronger and stronger.  
 Then God began to speak to me about repenting.  He told me to repent of pride in a certain situation.  I began to repent and cry out in my despair to the Lord.  I told the Lord how full of despair I was.  I began to feel, tangibly feel, the Lord replace the despair I felt with love and yes, peace.
The next morning I woke up and started feeling despair again.  I sat in my closet on my stool and I began to cry.  I cried physical tears and I cried out to the Lord.  I told the Lord I was feeling despair again, and as I cried out to Him, He brought peace back again to me.  I began to feel the fear of despair subside.  

I realized I didn't have to fear despair because He was right in the middle of that despair.  I felt free!  It was freeing to know God was with me in the very depth of my fear and despair.

Mom and Dad left this morning for M.D. Anderson, and we wait, here at home, remembering to...

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and constant in prayer.  

We wait for the results, and we wait for His words upon the pages of this book.

With all my heart,