Peace

Dear Friends,

It has been quite a while since I have posted here!  Knowing there are so many special people, across this country, praying for us, and thinking of us, waiting for news, I have resolved to update this blog on a more regulated basis.

Life is beginning to find its rhythm again, 

to carry us forward with a steady pace, 

moving with the gentle beat of the passing days.  

The Lord is holding us, 

and pressing his truth into our hearts, 

especially for Mom.  

She wanted to share, with all of you, 

what the Lord shared with her.

When I first found out I had this situation, (honestly, I don't like to say the name of "C") peace pervaded my soul and my spirit.  But, as time wore on, I felt despair begin to crack my peace.  I kept trying to get my peace back.  Then I started to have fear because I was afraid the despair would overtake me.  It felt like it was getting stronger and stronger.  

 Then God began to speak to me about repenting.  He told me to repent of pride in a certain situation.  I began to repent and cry out in my despair to the Lord.  I told the Lord how full of despair I was.  I began to feel, tangibly feel, the Lord replace the despair I felt with love and yes, peace.

The next morning I woke up and started feeling despair again.  I sat in my closet on my stool and I began to cry.  I cried physical tears and I cried out to the Lord.  I told the Lord I was feeling despair again, and as I cried out to Him, He brought peace back again to me.  I began to feel the fear of despair subside.  

I realized I didn't have to fear despair because He was right in the middle of that despair.  I felt free!  It was freeing to know God was with me in the very depth of my fear and despair.

Mom and Dad left this morning for M.D. Anderson, and we wait, here at home, remembering to...

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and constant in prayer.  

We wait for the results, and we wait for His words upon the pages of this book.

With all my heart,

Emma